It is a calamity of biblical proportions when millions of Facebook users endure a two-hour span of time during which they cannot instantly find out whether a friend drank a latte, discover that a distance acquaintance inadvertently passed gas, or wonder as to why a particular friend had to forward such a stale political cartoon.
It was so important that, in addition to this BBC News piece, people felt compelled to comment on it on Twitter:
“Facebook is acting like its stock. It keeps going down,” quipped one Twitter user.
Thanks to the network architect gods, the agony of missing pablum is over. We can all feed our addictions. As soon as I click on “publish”, this will be posted to Facebook to be enjoyed by, perhaps, millions. My timing may be perfect, but will I be heard above the noise?
Possibly louder than any protestor in Syria.