May Rick Santorum Prove His Bravery

Source: Rick Santorum: Students should learn CPR, not seek gun laws – The Washington Post

On CNN, Mr. Santorum glibly states:

“They took action to ask someone to pass a law,” he said of the demonstrators. “They didn’t take action to say, “How do I, as an individual, deal with this problem?”

I fervently and sincerely hope that Mr. Santorum gets to set an example for these young students by placing himself between the crazed gunman and the innocent students the next time a mass shooting is attempted. That will positively deal with the problem.

Humor Me. Do you trust Facebook?

Facebook has been embroiled in scandals from the start. Let’s try to put some numbers to the effects of these scandals.

[poll id=”6″]

Rex Tillerson, R.I.P.

Rex Tillerson built Exxon into the most valuable company on earth until it was eclipsed by Steve Jobs and Apple. Tillerson built Exxon into the most capable oil exploration and extraction outfit in the world; so capable that Putin had to grovel with you to extract Russia’s oil. You rescued Exxon from the laughing stock of the Exxon Valdez and burnished it into the most heralded name in the history of the oil industry.

You brought the negotiating skills you acquired in the process of signing colossal deals with the world’s biggest corporations, governments and despots to serving your country. You deserve so much more than a petty tweet from a man who can not grasp what you have accomplished. Though I cannot solute you for the lies you propagated about global warming for a brief part of your Exxon tenure, I salute you for your amazing business prowess and apologize to you on behalf of this rude regime. I remind you, sir, that this regime in no way represents the people of the USA, as abundantly manifested by the POTUS’s massive popular vote deficit.

A legendary career felled by a nitwit’s tweet. How incredibly sad. I’m not so sure you would have fared better were you a coal executive.

Bomb Virus Blackmail

The funniest thing about this email is the fact that the sender warns me against discounting his poor English skills. Perhaps the first thing I will do is report the cryptocurrency account to the FBI. According to spamcop.net, the message did originate on Russian servers. Am I a target of the Russian hacker army?

Costco Can’t Quite Achieve Class

Costco is selling Levi’s 505 jeans for an excellent price. I will place an order shortly, but I am ambivalent because I don’t know if the jeans are made by poor graduate students at Columbia University or if the jeans are being sold by an outfit whose employees don’t know the country of Colombia. (See photo below.) Is this Costco’s way of passing off counterfeit Levi’s or just an oversight by an overburdened organization? This is a poor reflection on the employees raised in the digital age.

Hauling Mud in Santa Barbara County

The Thomas Fire’s effects linger. In this photo, two trucks that are hauling mud and dirt from Montecito to the ocean pass each other on Linden Avenue in downtown Carpinteria on a beautiful, sleepy Sunday afternoon. Three weeks after the Montecito mud slides, an entire city may well still be in the process of being relegated to the ocean and posterity. Two trucks hauling mud from Montecito to the ocean in Carpinteria.

Rockers Continue to Annoy

It is unclear whether the members of Kiss are investors in this endeavor or merely offering an endorsement for cash, but Rock and Brews is the singularly most annoying and cruel endeavor that either man has ever undertaken. The restaurant is situated next to gate 53B at LAX, whence my flight to Boston departs. The 80s hair rock and heavy metal music that is being blasted from this restaurant is so damn annoying that I had to escape the waiting area at the gate in order to compose this angry complaint. The members of Kiss–Gene Simmons in particular–are famous for an expansive history of misogyny and exploitation that stands unrivaled (if one believes their stories). Why on earth they would elect to annoy the hell out of tens of thousands of passengers who depart from the six nearby gates daily is testimony to their persistent sadism. They could have started a music school or a charity or a rehab program. Instead, they elected to blast some of the shittiest music ever recorded into the ears of hapless, trapped travelers. The real tragedy is that the overpriced beer will line their pockets in the end. It is hard to like the masochists who patronize this establishment. This nightmare of an eatery is the last thing one wants to endure after passing through the ordeals of getting to LAX and passing security.

Kiss members shilling overpriced beer.

Where are the Borders in the Computing Cloud?

Nominally, the case (linked at the end) is about “privacy”, but the underlying questions are far deeper and far more relevant to anyone who is using any form of “cloud” service: Facebook, Google, Amazon, Apple, Twitter, Microsoft, etc. The government insists that it can access data belonging to a suspect even if that data is stored on a server in another country, but the service company, Microsoft in this case, insists that it cannot provide that data because that act violates the terms under which it operates its servers in Ireland. The question is, therefore, where is the virtual border drawn? Is material belonging to an American subject but stored on a server in a foreign country under a foreign account that was created in that country subject to US law or the laws of the country in which the account was created. A question in the affirmative leads to the following conundrum.

“If U.S. law enforcement can obtain the emails of foreigners stored outside the United States, what’s to stop the government of another country from getting your emails even though they are located in the United States?” Brad Smith, Microsoft’s president and chief legal officer, said in a blog post on Monday.

Where is the line drawn? Does the account belong to the person and, thus, subject to the laws of whichever country in which the person is residing, or is the data owned by the provider and, thus, subject to the laws of the country in which that provider is operating? If the former, then, indeed, foreign countries can have free access to data stored on American servers. This will please Chinese officials who want to identify dissidents. If the latter, then some country–perhaps Ireland–may well become a haven for data akin to the way Switzerland is a haven for money. Neither branch of the dilemma is particularly satisfying. Not solving this problem is an invitation to disaster in the not too distant future as our data slowly come to represent the totality of our existence.

What do we  want as users? Do we want our data to be ours, or do we want to relinquish control to technology companies in order to relieve ourselves of the responsibility of living with the consequences of the data? The breakneck pace of progress in technology doesn’t leave much time for the deep discussion that the subject demands. When the shit hits the fan, it’s going to get really messy. Wear your best virtual rubbers.

Source: U.S. Supreme Court to decide major Microsoft email privacy fight

Facebook to Use AI to Alleviate Its Greed

Facebook plans to use artificial intelligence and update its tools and services to help prevent suicides among its users.

Artificial intelligence is touted as the solution to everything these days, but with respect to suicides committed on or because of Facebook,  AI feels like a band-aid. The only way Facebook can really help prevent suicides is by making its service less addictive so that users can spend more time in real social circumstances with real people instead of being trapped inside a cold illusion of a social experience spawned from their smart phone. Making FB less addictive, however, will make FB lose revenue because its revenues are tied intimately to the number of eyeballs that are glued to the FB web site. Hence, progress is not profitable. The only benefit to society may be the development of an AI baby sitter. As FB and the rest of “social” media infantilize us all, the market will be briskfor such a product.

Source: Facebook turns to artificial intelligence to tackle suicides

Ending a Legendary Career with Greasy Eggs

About 17 years ago, I ate at two Wolfgang Puck restaurants: Chinois on Main and Granita in Malibu. Both were culinary delights, but not worth the hassle. (Lucques was the only restaurant that was worth the hassle.) It is a mystery as to why he lent his name to so many mediocre enterprises like TV dinners and fast food stands at malls and airports. After all, he was already damn wealthy by virtue of his books, restaurants and TV appearances. Alice Waters, his mentor, never felt any such compulsion, and her brand remained undiluted. Based on the picture below, Puck’s brand is now so diluted and debased that he has his picture next to greasy eggs. It is a denouement that can only elicit schadenfreude, not any sympathy. Here is a man who abandoned a promising career in the culinary arts for a couple bucks shilling greasy eggs. 

What a slut. 

I had a bagel and cream cheese at Starbucks. That is a far better choice for the captive passenger.