Men Lust, Women Love

BBC NEWS | Europe | Two sexes ‘sin in different ways’

Countless other studies had already put statistics to this conclusion, but the Catholic Church apparently felt the need to weigh in. It is refreshing, perhaps, that the Church is finally applying statistics and (seemingly) modern surveying methods to compare quantitatively the transgressions of the sexes. It will be very interesting to see if such studies will have any impact on the severity and the frequency of punishments that the Church metes out for sinners.

Until then, the next statistical revelation from the Church will probably be that teenage (Catholic, of course) boys masturbate about a hundredfold more frequently than girls. Will the Church have the courage, however, to compare statistically how these masturbatory obsessions are distributed? Will it dare to investigate, at the risk of confirming, whether boys and girls enrolled in Catholic school are more or less sexually active, more or less sexually obsessed and more or less sexually dysfunctional than their peers in public schools?

Will the Church become supremely pragmatic and dispatch priests and bishops variously skilled in mitigating particular transgressions to geographic regions statistically more marred by such transgressions than others? Too many masturbators in Boston. Send Bishop Onan there. An epidemic of adultery in Atlanta. Send in Father Kennedy. Too much greed in Los Angeles. Send in Father Pinochet. A pride pandemic in Texas? Send in Archbishop Bush.

Will the Church ever be bold enough to investigate its population of priests and bishops for sexual peccadillos? That would be interesting.

Pedophilia incidents in Minneapolis? Next problem, please.

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Wish there were an American Twit of the Year Contest?

YouTube – Monty Python Upperclass Twit of the Year

Nearly forty years after the Monty Python crew did this absolutely brilliant skit lambasting the British upper class, Americans are still left wanting for a similar work of satire that depicts the American elite in the appropriate light. After all, an elite that has managed to squander in less than a generation the dreams of the founding fathers, the promise of the most ambitious and most diverse populace ever gathered under one flag, and the spoils of wars won by blood spilled by countless soldiers in lands near and far has earned the right to be so thoroughly upbraided.

In as much, if any country’s upper class is exclusively occupied by twits, it has to be the United States of America. It is profoundly distressing and disappointing that no mainstream American comedy troupe (not even Saturday Night Live) has yet managed anything this scathing, this relevant and this funny. Nobody in the US can do proper satire anymore, it seems.

Except maybe for Harry Shearer.

Bank executives are being grilled by Congress today. It would be far more preferable to gather them at the National Mall for a twit of the year contest and fire the starter’s gun. After all, the only thing that seems to distinguish banking executives from the twits in this Monty Python sketch is plastic surgery.

Scroll down to register your vote. Take note that the tied down rabbit portion nearly anticipates Dick Cheney’s hunting episode.

[poll id=”5″]

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Walmart as Pestilence?

Watching the Growth of Walmart Across America

Data visualization is really in vogue, and the  new tools becoming available for the task are simply amazing. This graph, cited on zefrank.com, makes Walmart’s growth look rather horrific. It was created by Nathan, who also made a graph of Target’s growth since 1962.

Does Target’s growth seem any less threatening than Walmart’s? If so, is it because of the colors used in each animation? Or is this really, really nifty way of visualizing the data to blame? It is hard to dispute that this is an absolutely cool way of presenting information. Gotta find data to plot.

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Philosophy on the Football Field

YouTube – Monty Python – International Philosophy

The only reason Monty Python’s Flying Circus persists in its popularity is the complexity of the humor. A philosophical inquiry about the relationship between scientists and the philosophers of science brought back distant memories of this brilliant skit about a soccer (football) match between the greats of Greek and German philosophy.

Now that I’m a little older, presumably and hopefully a little bit wiser, and ostensibly better informed, this skit is funnier than ever. I still don’t know why Beckenbauer is a surprise member of the German lineup. Do you?

Then again, I don’t care to know why Beckenbauer is the real surprise. It might not be as funny.

Update: I was possessed by morbid curiosity. I looked up Beckenbauer cited in the skit. He is Franz Beckenbauer, one of the greatest footballers who ever lived. A real athlete in a philosophy match is a surprise, indeed. And, after reading the script for this skit, I’m laughing even harder. Indeed, these are perhaps the three greatest objections to the validity of a goal anyone ever dreamt.

The Germans are disputing it. Hegel is arguing that the reality is merely an a priori adjunct of non-naturalistic ethics, Kant via the categorical imperative is holding that ontologically it exists only in the imagination, and Marx is claiming it was offside.

Catch Shoe Throwing Fever

BBC NEWS | UK | UK Politics | Shoe hurled as Chinese PM speaks

Forget about the locomotion. The new dance craze is shoe throwing. From Iraq, to England (see article above), it is the craze that is sweeping the globe. So, grab your flip flops, moccasins, sneakers, or whatever you got on, pick a target, and fire away. You could become famous, too.

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The Truth about Israel’s Campaign in Gaza

Egypt attacks Iran and allies in Arab world | Reuters

This much was clear to me from the beginning of this whole affair, but perhaps I should have aired my enlightened and apparently correct opinion here earlier so that I could prove it to everyone.

Israel was eliminating Hamas in Gaza in order to do Egypt a favor. The public statements made by Egypt today confirm this. Read the article linked above.

Israel’s embarrassing campaign in Southern Lebanon in 2006 made it very clear to all neighboring Arab states that Iran’s influence–as exercised by proxy Islamist groups like Hezbollah and Hamas–posed significant threats to the Arab states and the sovereignty of their governments. The war against Hezbollah completely derailed Lebanon’s recovery from its devastating civil war. In essence, Iran was perfectly willing to sacrifice the entire nation of Lebanon for the sake of its influence in the middle east.

This recklessness on the part of Iran was not lost on the Arab states, for once. Even Syria began to realize that further strengthening of Hezbollah would undermine Bashar Asaad’s tenuous grasp on power and, hence, Syrian sovereignty. Ultimately, this is what prompted Syria to soften its stance on Israel and to collaborate, albeit surreptitiously, with the west.

Egypt acted in the same vein. The full cooperation that Egypt provided (in the form of a total blockade of Gaza) in Israel’s campaign betrayed Egypt’s intent. Egypt’s long battle with Islamist fringe groups (most prominently with Ikhwan Al Mosalman, the group that spawned Ayman Al Zawahiri, Osama bin Laden‘s right hand man) rages still, and Iran’s ridiculous use of Hezbollah as a proxy force in Lebanon made Egypt realize that it is vulnerable to Iran’s ploys for influence in the middle east. Consequently, it acted with complete accord with Israel toward the total annihilation of Hamas.

It would be an exceptionally foolish mistake to confound Egypt’s desire for the destruction of Hamas as any sort of empathy, sympathy, or affection for Palestinians. Egypt is acting in the interest of nation and the preservation of its sovereignty. Any benefit that this might bring Palestinians–whose entire misery stems from the simple fact that no political entity (not even their own) has ever advocated their cause–would be purely ancillary. Egypt may well support the Israeli-Palestinian peace process solely to rid itself of the Islamist threat and Iranian influence that infiltrate Egypt through Gaza.

Strangely enough, this “hopeful” scenario is about the only good thing that arose out of George W Bush’s asinine war in Iraq. The American failure in Iraq dramatically emboldened and enabled Iran. Iran’s influence in the middle east increased dramatically as the United States eliminated Iran’s two biggest foes: Iraq and the United States. With Saddam Hussein gone, Iran had no military rival left in the region, and with the United States engaged in an economically crippling guerrilla campaign in Iraq that drove up the price of oil, Iran’s economic influence similarly grew.

Once the price of crude oil reached more realistic levels and Iran’s economic might was consequently tempered, Egypt saw an opportunity and seized it. Anti-American sentiment was waning as the Obama Presidency loomed. Iran found itself economically crippled by the collapsing price of oil, and neighboring Arab countries shared Egypt’s justified fear of an almighty and Shi’a Iran. Egypt seized the moment and moved in for the kill, and Israel was kind enough to oblige.

The fantastic dream that may be realized out of this is that of pan-arabism that has been kept painfully elusive by ancient internecine animosities. Even more fantastic would be the recognition that Israel can actually aid Arabs in effecting control over their own domains as it is aiding Egypt now. Thus, the net effect, in the minds of the neocons who dreamt this nightmare in Iraq, would be a total disaster for the United States: the Iraqi campaign that was designed to increase American influence in the region is now ending in the fortification of Arab states and the nearly total elimination of American political influence in the region.

Fortunately, a more rational presidential administration is in power now in the US, and it is highly likely that Obama, Clinton and company will see the opportunity to engage the middle east as friendly, willing partners in the creation of a new economic alliance against Russia, China and, to a much, much lesser extent, Europe. Such could be the consequence of Hillary Clinton’s use of American “soft power” (or “smart power” to use her words), and that would be the greatest consequence for the USA.

Let us thank the powers that be, then, that the morons are finally out of office.

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Sympathy for the Devils

BBC NEWS | Middle East | Iraq fails to sell Saddam’s yacht

Whom should one pity? The billionaires whose failing fortunes prevented them from purchasing this ridiculous yacht (equipped with rocket launchers, gold plated amenities and an escape hatch leading to an escape submarine)? Or Saddam Hussein, the original owner of the yacht, who imiserated an entire nation for the privilege of owning this magnificent ship and yet never managed to board it?

The sale of the yacht would have benefited the Iraqi people. In over forty years, they have never suffered any good fortune. They are, perhaps, better off than Rwandans, Congolese and Palestinians, but is the greater suffering of others a legitimate source of relief?

Is it more appropriate to pity billionaires who had once known greater times, or the most wretched of the earth, those who have never known good times? Were it not for the miserable times being suffered by all, there may have been enough sympathy and good will toward mankind left to make the posing of the question relevant. As it is, I truly don’t care, and I’m certain that no other soul on earth does, either.

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Panorama of the Hong Kong Skyline

Image:Hong Kong Skyline Restitch – Dec 2007.jpg – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

A spectacular panorama of the Hong Kong Skyline from Wikipedia.
A spectacular panorama of the Hong Kong Skyline from Wikipedia.

Skylines are beautiful. The Hong Kong skyline may be unrivaled in its size. This skyline is so hypnotizing, so enticing, so utterly mesmerizing that one is inclined to wonder what inspired flight before these dreamy products of human ingenuity and labor, and monuments to human ambition.

Natural wonders are unrivaled in the inspiration they evoke. Looking at this image, however, one finds it hard to dismiss man-made wonders.
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Do You Love William Shatner?

Apple widget that spits out random facts about William Shatner.
Apple widget that spits out random facts about William Shatner.

Apple’s widgets, a copy of the wonderful open source KDE information gathering applications, has spawned some very bizarre experiments in information gathering. (The KDE widget engine is now known as Yahoo! Widgets.) Now, DSG Design, a group of web designers, have created perhaps the most bizarre widget, Shatner Facts. For the price of the publicity (which is to say, free to the user), one can have all the trivia that one’s heart desires about William Shatner. This ought to be entertaining. After all, the facts about Shatner are themselves quite interesting. Who knew that he played a major character in Judgment at Nuremberg.

Yes, the man has certainly had a remarkable career, and whether he is doing priceline.com commercials or playing the greatest sac of puss ever to practice law (Denny Crane on Boston Legal), he is certainly a better actor than he has ever been.

And now, whether you are romantically obsessed with Shatner, or morbidly curious about the man, there is a single resource that will satisfy your craving for Shatner facts: The Shatner Facts widget for Apple Macintosh OS X.

The hell with Obama. Shatner will save the world.

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Drawbacks of Online Advertising

On an October day when fires were raging all over Southern California, readers who wanted to be awed by the events were greeted with a very awkwardly placed Macy’s ad on the Los Angeles Times web site. Right next to the photo gallery that showed the awesome destruction that the Marek fire was causing Simi and San Fernando valleys was this strangely cheerful Macy’s ad for a Columbus Day Sale. 

Yes, the internet is taking over everything, but there clearly remain many, many kinks to work out. It’s highly unlikely that Macy’s wanted this event advertised on this particular page.

Then again, maybe the average Angeleno responds to disasters by shopping at Macy’s.

Macy's may not have wanted its ads on this Los Angeles Times Page
Macy's may not have wanted its ads on this Los Angeles Times Page

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